Yesterday, I actually, finally put paint on canvas! AND… it. was. hard. And it didn’t just “flow.” And it didn’t turn out right….. But, I did actually follow thru and spent the afternoon painting. Turns out Charlotte is way more difficult and complicated than we knew. I’m hoping that once it dries, I can go back in and work on the painting. Which, I know technically goes against the “Daily Painting” concept; but I’m not at the point where I can produce a decent painting in just one day/session – or, currently, if at all.
So there it is. A rough start. Hopefully not an ending but a beginnning.
Hanover Eagles eaglet survived out of the shell for less than 48 hours….
I posted the below on the HDOnTap‘s Eagle Cam comment string…..
oooohhhhh mommy bird….. I hadn’t checked in today and then was watching the news…… breaks my heart, so sad. Nature can be a real bitch sometimes. I was watching yesterday and it was so great watching the little one getting fed etc and peeping so loudly. I sure hope the second egg makes it. The eagles are still being good parents tending to the egg, etc. This is one of the crappy parts of being able to WATCH all of this LIVE – it’s so great, but we become attached and then it can so easily go wrong. All the work that goes into prepping the nest and then all the incubating and the little devil managed to make it through his shell and then….. If love could’ve saved you, you would have lived forever or at least as long as majestic eagles live xo fingers so damn crossed for egg number 2, hoping it wasn’t really egg number one
I was crying from the moment I heard the news report and the whole time I typed. While I know, understand and accept it’s nature and things happen – that doesn’t stop the emotional connection from forming and the sadness at this loss. I never in my lifetime thought I’d see Bald Eagles flying over me in PA, but about 3-4 years ago our county had it’s first nest! And we saw them through a scope one sitting one the nest and one in the “sentinel” tree beside. Since then we’ve seen them sporadically and this late winter, I actually got to see a pair in an aerial mating dance only about a mile from our house – I followed them down the road for a mile or two as then spiraled and danced low over the fields….. it was AMAZING – a true my pants moment. And then THIS! this LIVE feed of a nest – how awesome. Between the Hanover Eagles and the GHOs in Georgia nest watching over the last two years has been addictive. And I can tell from the comments here and on FB pages, it’s not just me. smile emoticon lol I even got my husband to drive over to Hanover one Sunday to sit in the cold for a couple hours hoping to see and eagle – we could see the nest but never got to see one in flight over the lake. I was planning AM planning to get him to go back when the other egg hatches (fingers so crossed) I figure there will be lots of action when they have to fish for baby food.
Part of what is so difficult is not knowing what happened? He was fine and then …… he wasn’t. And oh! the commenters have gone totally off the fucking chain. Sometimes it’s too much to even read. I scroll through to see if there’s any news or updates. But with this eaglets death people have turned on one another and the speculating and the blaming… Some were blaming the female eagle for not feeding the eaglet others were blaming the one parent for trying to move a stick in the nest and hitting the eaglet in the head several times….. Before the egg even hatched so many were “oh, it’s been too long it’s not going to hatch.” Now everyone is faulting the eagles for not sitting on the egg right now – it’s almost 80 outside. Or there’s the “they’ve given up and left the nest.” Maybe they have, the egg which remains may actually have been the first laid in which case it’s doubtful we’ll have a hatch. 😦 which is so sad. Mostly for the eagles. There have been a number of eagle deaths along the eastern seaboard – I haven’t heard why but it’s suspected that it’s some type of poisoning, perhaps not even purposeful but something which the eagles ate was poisoned. Just makes this loss even sadder.
And then there was one frequent poster, I wanted to “YELL” at her anyway, as she kept posting the same trite phase to anyone who posted a theory or question about why the eaglet died. “We’ll never know why the eaglet died.” Like just shut-up you don’t have to answer every person, they’ll figure it out. But she posted a video of the last nite the eagle sat on the egg and the eaglet who was already gone by then…. which was fine until she also showed where the one parent returned to the nest and moved the dead eaglet to the edge of the nest and then apparently began to eat some of it. Good lord. We all had been warned that this was a possibility or that the dead one could be used for food if the other egg hatched…. but did I want to see it – no, I did not. And she didn’t warn a viewer that this is what was at the end of the footage. For me it was cruel.
Life lesson on joy and expectation turning to sorrow and grief?
Shitty lessons to learn.
But learn them, we do.
Mother Nature was not kind to me either. No babies for me. Old eggs.
…. as I type, the eagle nest sways in the wind empty except for the lone egg…..
In PA (oh! wait! know any other states which go by their post office initials? Is it just too difficult to spell?) anyway, in PA everything is just 4 miles down the road. Yep. Four miles. This is according to my MIL’s man-friend Wade.
Never mind TMI – Three Mile Island – it’s an island – doesn’t count.
SIDEBAR: I actually lived through? during? TMI’s potential nuclear meltdown. We are approximately 50ish miles away, but I’m pretty sure that ain’t far enough if a nuke actually goes. But what I remember is that our schools’ gyms/activity rooms were going to be shelter’s for people living close to the actual TMI towers. And then President Jimmy Carter came and put on that crazy hazmat suit to “tour” the facility, thus proving how safe it was. ToTes CrAy….. doesn’t he have cancer now?
Where was I going with all that? Going! Ha – location joke – PA – 4 miles. Anyway, it’s true, look it up.
I’ve been thinking about this whole BLOG phenomenon and that I might like to “do” one. But about WHAT? What do I have to say which would be of interest to anyone? Nothing really. Plus, you know, there’s sooooooo much out there – it boggles (or is that bloggles) the mind! I had no idea. There are so many funny, creative, interesting people blogging. Some are so beautiful. Oh the FOOD blogs – great recipes, sweet antidotes, fab photos – love the food blogs! And the “let’s be crafty” shit! Where do people come up with all these ideas? It’s just like Facebook, I feel horribly inadequate, totally sub-par.
I’m hoping I will be able to share my art and design skills . . .
My skewed slant on life? Am I unique? I dunno, I know I’d like to think so; but maybe I’m not. Maybe all our experiences are similar in the end. And it’s all relative anyway isn’t it? Can I make you laugh? Can I make you cry? Can I make you see?
How about I share things which make me laugh, cry, see?
American Beauty is one of my favorite movies. If you haven’t watched it – you should. It touched me. And below are two lines from it:
Lester Burnham: [narrating] I had always heard your entire life flashes in front of your eyes the second before you die. First of all, that one second isn’t a second at all, it stretches on forever, like an ocean of time… For me, it was lying on my back at Boy Scout camp, watching falling stars… And yellow leaves, from the maple trees, that lined our street… Or my grandmother’s hands, and the way her skin seemed like paper… And the first time I saw my cousin Tony’s brand new Firebird… And Janie… And Janie… And… Carolyn. I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me… but it’s hard to stay mad, when there’s so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I’m seeing it all at once, and it’s too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that’s about to burst… And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can’t feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life… You have no idea what I’m talking about, I’m sure. But don’t worry… you will someday.
Ricky Fitts: It was one of those days when it’s a minute away from snowing and there’s this electricity in the air, you can almost hear it. Right? And this bag was just dancing with me. Like a little kid begging me to play with it. For fifteen minutes. That’s the day I realized that there was this entire life behind things, and this incredibly benevolent force that wanted me to know there was no reason to be afraid, ever. Video’s a poor excuse, I know. But it helps me remember… I need to remember… Sometimes there’s so much beauty in the world, I feel like I can’t take it, and my heart is just going to cave in.
I sense I’m babbling.
I painted today. I think I told you last time, I’m taking a class to learn web design. I don’t really think it’s going very well. The “cody-bits” as the professor refers to them get the better of me. It’s an ugly, unfamiliar language. But, yes, I am also taking a painting workshop through our local council for the arts. It’s with Ski Holm, who, no shit, is an amazing artist and a good teacher and really just an all around good guy. Yeah, I idolize him just a little bit. Sad statement on education, I have a BFA and have attended not one, not two but three different colleges studying art and I learned more about painting from Ski. I have a bachelors in fine art, the minor of which was painting, and I didn’t know how to paint in oils. I owe my knowledge in acrylics to Judith Briggs, but no one had taught me oils, or anything about creating a palette or what that meant….. The class right now is just a dedicated 3 hours each week to oil paint. There is a still-life but I brought in a painting of a barn I started several years ago (I’m embarrassed to say how long ago). The barn was destroyed by an arsonist, so I’m working from photos. I took a three-day workshop (also with Ski) in February about Daily Painting. In case you missed the gist: I’m trying to figure out how to be a better artist or maybe really be an artist PERIOD and just maybe earn some money painting, graphic designing….
Ski Holm – self portrait
okay, I’m tired.
more tomorrow?
and perhaps I’ll explain the title ……
several tomorrows later…
sigh.
yeah. so anyway.
Time to wrap-n-post. As I went to sleep the other nite, thinking about this blog thing, I wondered, “what do I have to offer the ‘world’?” I still don’t know that I have anything to offer, so maybe this is really just for me? My most favorite blog is The Bloggess aka: Jenny Lawson. She is magnificent. Irreverent, funny, touching, thought provoking, odd, inspiring, just a f*in good laugh – look up Beyonce the Big Metal Chicken on her site. Here’s the link (see aren’t I nice, I did the work for you!)
OK. Now I’m done. I don’t know that I have anything worthwhile or even not so worth while to offer the WORLD but I am here, like it or not – which is often how I feel.
Shit! I promised the what the? answer to the title. Sadly it doesn’t seem nearly as funny as it did that nite but we were watching Life in Pieces and the neighbors were filming porn and that made me ponder why would you film your own porn? Legit porn is bad enuf, but amateur? icky. And something was mentioned that maybe if you were well endowed… and then I believe my dear husband said, (are you ready?) “If it hung to the floor, I’d do porn.”
So, okay, it’s now taken me basically an HOUR to get this far. Really? Yes, really. Sigh. Can you say Analog VS Digital? Go Dogfish Head! Although, truth be told, I think they are far more digital than they want to admit.
Yes, to get this far I had to do battle with the fact that on a whim this week I decided to create a (okay not create; but LOGIN with the thought of future creation) wordpress blog. Which means. . . I now have a login and a PASSword . . . which I cannot remember. And it won’t let me create a new project with the email already in it’s system. Oh, dammit! No problem, I’ll just use my Gmail addy which I never use so I don’t know it’s password. Fast-forward to texting husband to scramble around to find my missing/forgotten DATA. (which interestingly enough is stored on PAPER in a notebook 😉
(and somehow as I tried to figure out how to put a damn photo on the page, typing was deleted? oh c’mon! sometimes it’s difficult to believe the world is not conspiring against me. sigh.)
So here we are. It’s been a stupid long week. Trying desperately to write code for one single, not very attractive web page. I’m not sure I’m even really analog . . . perhaps antique? I remember looking up at the moon and knowing there were men on it. We did that – THAT! IN the 60’s . . . before personal computers, before cell phones, before a pocket calculator you could take to school in your pocket. Is that a calculator in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
Me – writing code to create one weak-assed web page. Small steps baby, small steps.
to be continued . . .
So I did go home and have that beer. ahhhhh. But now I have several more elements I’m supposed to have in this post! 😦 How do I change color? hmmmmm And what the hell are the tags I’m supposed to use? Category, huh?
Check – bulleted list which also hopefully are my “tags”
I am having difficulty customizing – I’ve gone in several times, sometimes the tools won’t load; others I’ve chosen colors, backgrounds, etc, but they don’t seem to “appear” here? So, I dunno? I’ve also attempted to type the HTML code, but haven’t had much success. 😦 What’s being used here isn’t coded quite the same as what I did on my page which is making me uncomfortable and confused. Other than that I think I’ve completed the check list and so I’m going to post this rambling, hot mess…
analog vs digital 